lonelii .. [lov-ed]

May 25, 2009

woh seems lik long tim nvr here liao
last tim the pain also alr healed
..
wel maybe
anot ..
i dno
thrs somthin i dun understand
why im stil here
actin lik tis
i dun rly need to b lik tis dun i
can live by myself anyway
wads man for
..
fun
..
but taht might not be always true
now i can live myself happily
nah ~ i dno
thrs no ever after in my life
which means
happily
but NOT every after
..
hahs so diff from the stories
yah hell not
..
i prayed
whether god can lead mi a way
for the things i dun understand
im here
lik tis
but can nvr understand my own heart
do i stil lik him
anot
..
all i noe is
now .. wadeva happens
im not sad anymor
or even angry
not even a bit
mayb tahts cos i cannot
im not allow to
as im just 'somone taht happend to pass by his life
nah ~ why im doin tis to myself
strugglin wif my own heart
askin .. questioning ..
in the deepest heart
but outside
just keep quiet all the way
it also dun mak any diff in his day
..
i gav up
long ago
mayb im just not capable enough to receive this gift
not enough
or never will

Blogged @ 11:50 PM
if being apart is hurt .. i wanna .. just before the feelings all gone .. love you one more time .. with all i got

May 13, 2009

skul .. tuition .. home ..
nth diff .. totally - the same
wad if sth can be diff .. from the life i am rit now
being completely quiet in skul
.. i wish i could
wel .. i did
but fighting wif myself inside over and over
okay not disturbin ppl ..
so keep quiet and sit on ur own sit baby ..
ouch .. so hard
wish i could just close my eyes taht nth wil be my business
cannot .. im lik taht do i hav a choice ..?
i gav up ..
be quiet ..?
im not taht type
expecting a good girl in class ..?
no .. tahts so not mi
...
...
wif no mood ..
tahts it ---

Blogged @ 6:35 AM
if being apart is hurt .. i wanna .. just before the feelings all gone .. love you one more time .. with all i got

May 12, 2009

another day ..
started fine .. received ur cal early in the morning
wel ..i asked for it so .. nvm
hais .. i tot should be better rit
the day
dehn its stil the same .. or worse
.....
i dno ..
i decided to live the same way as befor but wel u also the how it end to be
.. sombody got irritated
am i doing so much wrong
no matter wad i do
everything are wrong de
end up .. stil not doin the rit thing
i tot if i do the sam as bfr would be better
but not seem the same way to the others
..
maths paper
i dun need to do de
.. stay thr do nth
all the thoughts com out to my head ..
dehn i wrote wrote wrote ..
also feel bad
even worse
i wrote ..
sth ..
wishing u can understand my feelin
but at the end ..
now .. feeling the same
stil being abandoned
..
rmb tt story i written inside
i dun wanna be taht little puppy ..
be wif mi ..
just friends ..
u noe
....
....
....
i just wanna som care ..

Blogged @ 5:37 AM
if being apart is hurt .. i wanna .. just before the feelings all gone .. love you one more time .. with all i got

May 11, 2009

another day passed by
hais .. why hrs seems to be so long now
i thought it went through so fast but now
every second is killing mi
tmr back to normal -
skul
lunch*
tuition
.. and dehn
sleep
dehn is the next day
how simple is taht
.....
nth better to do
mayb fal asleep is a better idea
oh damn stupid ivan talk so loud'
dno wad my mummy wil think leii
rly believe him i --die
...
...
...
...
dun think of anythin
go sleep baby ..
..zz..

Blogged @ 7:53 AM
if being apart is hurt .. i wanna .. just before the feelings all gone .. love you one more time .. with all i got

May 10, 2009

wake up in the morning ..
aww dno why everyday wake up so early these days leii
9+ pei .. rarely ..
look at my phone .. hais no need look liao stil the same anyway ..
try to sleep again .. cannot le
close my eyes try to sleep
cant
stil ..
hais i cant get over tis leii .
ytd sms my cher .. i think i over it liao *i think
she said .. u can refrain meh .. cannot means far from over
aww dehn when ah
help ..
first thing pop up in my head in the moment i open my eyes
did u called mi
hais be realistic bah .. he wun
hmm .. he said wil cal tis morning de .. i wait?
tahts a damn hell bad idea for mi
cos its impossible for i tis kinda person to wait
an hr later ..
holy crap he nvr cal ..
nvr wake up ah ofcos ..
nvm nvm my money i cal
when can i get over it .. long long later
wil see will see
......

Blogged @ 11:32 PM
if being apart is hurt .. i wanna .. just before the feelings all gone .. love you one more time .. with all i got

sian lar .. mummy ask mi go do work
do work do work .. tahts the onli thing she noe mah
nvr see taht i xin qing bu hao dun wan do wah
why i lik SO pathetic
go outside ask brendady also she nvr talk to mi ..
god ah .. can go back mah
just go back 2 weeks ago so much BETTER lor
at least i stil be LOVED ..
not anymore .. get use to it bah .. wun die

Blogged @ 4:27 AM
if being apart is hurt .. i wanna .. just before the feelings all gone .. love you one more time .. with all i got

whole day at home ..
sian .. wad else can i do ..
too lazy to move liao .. dun even wanna get off the bed
too lazy to eat .. or dun even feel lik eatin
hais .. dno why leii
not torturing myself but .. good way i can slim down leii
hais mummy stil thought im sick ..
oops maybe .. i think NOT
cal u until lik disturbing ppl liao *oopsi
hahs dun feel bad or guilty abt mi lar ..
i also wun anythin ..
wun die one ...
going out wif joyce tmr .. got taht mood meh .. i dno leii
seein ppl on tue .. why suddenly so anxious wan go skul ..
crazy liao ..
tuition time tue .. wed .. fri .. sat ..
mayb go for a phycologist better lor ..
hidding stuff so hard eh ..
just realise ..
my cher talked a lot
mayb fake som laugh bah .. cryin inside .. who knows
try not to think abt it mayb better ..
if can ..? not QUITE possible
heart broken-ed

Blogged @ 3:50 AM
if being apart is hurt .. i wanna .. just before the feelings all gone .. love you one more time .. with all i got